oh god the rape fog is back!
wicked high...have munchies. cherry flavor lube. problem solved.
why is it whenever you puke in the park there are always little kids on the swings?
Apparently I climbed into a dryer last night and refused to leave... There are pictures to prove it
I'm so horny
I have no idea who this is, but I'm up for a lecture on self-respect
You do realize that we got a stripper to do the YMCA for us on the main stage... Right?
I dont have any paper so I'm writing class notes on my first response direction pregnancy paper. Judging eyes are all around.
if I see a bottle of vodka right now I'll probably throw up gum I swallowed when I was a kid
No, no, we have to calibrate. What is the maximum amount of trouble we can get into without going to jail?
Dont worry bro, i'll be the designated kayaker. I wouldnt want u to be drinking and kayaking.
didn't prepare for this snow storm at all. i only have like 6 beer and all my booty calls already went home for the holiday. this is bull.
My night just got really weird. In a sit down stall bathroom at this nice resturaunt and this guy walks in as I rip a humongous porcelain-splitting fart. Well, I hear him stop for a second. He then opens the door to the stall next to mine, sits down and says, "player two has entered the game."
Did you win?
You can't die you're my only democrat family member
Whose dick am I looking at? There are too many possibilities at the moment.
The economy isn’t reopen until I can get drunk and motorboat fake tits at lunch on a Wednesday
Randomize
