I don't know what's more pathetic, the fact that you dated him or the fact that it took a Taylor Swift song for you to break up with him.
So I'm at planned parenthood and there are 5 people here from Friday's party.
Forever 21 now has a maternity line. Even more of an incentive for me to get pregnant at a young age.
Remember the time we were horrifically hung over, went to mcdonalds, an you merely felt the weight of the mcnuggets box and knew there was an extra?
like it was yesterday
He just tagged everyone he's slept with this year in a 'memories of 2011' tweet
Would you wanna look up as you cum and for a split-second see your dad?
You insisted on going outside so you could "breathe real air".
he fed me chocolate as I gave him a handjob. I felt like a princess.
somehow this turned into a costume party you have to get here now with my banana suit or I'm wearing my birthday suit
You just kept walking around in a circle saying "well played 6th street well played" before falling over.
I think we've entered a low point in our relationship when I'm sending you pictures of pubic hair designs "because they're funny"
He looked me deeply in the eyes and said "I don't want this to be the last time I see you.. Can I follow you on Instagram"
I just let my boss bend me over his desk and spank me. I think that is some sort of American dream.
Meh, all I have to do tomorrow is proctor an AP test. No loud noises and no physical activity allowed for almost 4 hours. Sounds like the perfect recovery period for a hangover.
I think he fucked my hip out of place.
Randomize
