The girl here has a popped collar. Can I slap her?
Yes. For all mankind please do.
One can only hope that this night would end with my thumb in another humans rectum.
WHO ATE OUR COOKIES WHAT THE FUCK THOSE WERE GOURMET
Given my current decline of critical thinking and capacity for speech it's probably best u call the cops
So we were having sex and his roommate walks in eating a bag of chips. Then proceeds to talk to us about his bitch of a professor.
Did he at least offer you guys chips?
Pierced my own nipple last night, and yes everyone did go absolutely nuts
I don't listen when you talk. I just try to find new creative ways to get you to send me naked pictures.
I'll make some time for you! I don't know how long you need to get off, but I should only need 2-7 minutes, pending what kind of socks I have on.
I spent the morning naked in her roommates closet because her parents decided to come over after church..
The cleaning lady has moved my vibrator twice now so I would say I'm pretty ready to move out.
I'm going to start using the hurricane naming system for my hangovers. Hangover Agatha is a real bitch today.
A dozen fresh-baked cookies delivered to my dorm AND I don't have chlamydia or gonorrhea... Could this night get any better??
Why are we so out going and care free I can't wait for maturity to kick in so we stop having 700 dollar bar tabs
Last night when we were having sex he put the condom on backwards the first time. While he was putting the second one on I blew up the first one, made it into a balloon and hit him in the head with it. I think we're over the honeymoon stage.
If you ever get divorced...would you call me??
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