i dont nkow, theres a guy slesping next to me and im wearing 8 tsthirts? wtf happened last night? will you come get me.
i think im in thre room next to you
We're gonna have to suck it up and start making out for free drinks. No homo. I'm watching Tyra "I kissed a girl and I got free drinks."
Let's do it. All homo
Every good night starts with white castle burgers and shots in the parking lot.
i just walked into thanksgiving and three people in a row asked me who i was. really?
He managed to light the Jello on fire...
remember last year when i left for the bar in flip flops and came back in heels?
it happened again.
Freedom, beauty, truth, and love to all. I also probably have syphilis
Well, I plan on starting the night dressed as little red riding hood. Then I plan on finishing the night dressed as a shit show in a red cape.
Also cheers for the reminder to check last night's texts. It's been a magical adventure through drunk me's thought process.
Now all I have unanswered questions and a fucked up finger
Lol woke up with mangoes in bed with me
you face planting the wall was epic
did you at least save my tooth
If you think I'm not petty enough to drive to your house at 3 in the goddamn morning just to punch you, you underestimate me.
Told a guy at the bar I was hurricane evacuees with no place to stay. Just woke up at his place. God bless Florence
I kicked down a wall in rage and found a door behind the drywall. Once again vandalism solves all my problems.
Randomize
