i broke up with my boyfriend last night because i had to eat a freezy pop in every color and he ate the last blue one. i sat on the floor and cried for an hour at least. everyone left. so i decided that this whole weed thing isnt really healthy for my relationships.
she's in the bathroom. spitting in the trashcan. not throwing up. just spitting and singing bad romance by lady gaga.
thatta girl
history professor just told us he has magic fingers. i'm going for it.
hes wearing the same tie today that i tied him up with last night.i wanna go home
I don't know what you're talking about. I just drank beer out of my own bellybutton by doing a backbend and letting it run down my body.
nope, if she's going to skank it up with ginge-a-saurus douche she deserves the silent treatment.
He wasn't lying when he said he was immune to pepperspray. He pretended it burned for like 12 seconds and told the cops he was kidding he was alright. We'll be there soon.
Btw. U, me, male strippers, beer. Gonna happen. We could totally get TNT from like u know TNT places
So nowhere in the dress code does it forbid me from showing up to City Hall in a gorilla suit to meet the mayor.
My whole sorority girl exterior is just a lie. I'm a fat tumblr girl on the inside.
So I got my junk pierced since we've fucked. You should get in on this.
I just heard myself say the sentence "I'm gonna go to the bank then take a nap". 8 year old me just slapped my present self through the space-time continuum for being an old fuck.
This morning i put band aids over my nipples bc i was too lazy to put on a bra. Think I've reached a new low.
i was so high when i left this morning that rather than make sandwiches i threw bread and peanut butter in my backpack. a whole loaf. and a whole jar
I should have known it wouldn’t work. Someone saved in her phone as “Subway Sex” called the week before the wedding
Randomize
