Oh my god. I just envisioned myself eating panda meat. I need to get out of this class.
the #6 from wendy's when stoned is definitely better than sex. i dont care what anyone says.
I am drunk as shit eating pancakes. I am not the person to call.
he told me my vagina was like a beautiful piece of salami
Mango bong: no go. Guava bong: sweet flaming buddha it was delicious. I shall teach you the ways of tropical fruit trees.
Just did a drug deal on the toy aisle at walmart, Merry Christmas
You are not allowed to borrow my car ever again. It smells like a hobo orgy happened in my backseat with a hint of onion. What did you do.
He's a cat fanatic .. That was not in the fine print when we started fucking
Ok now a guy in a winnie the pooh costume is grinding on some chick to the song shots
I really resent how she stayed home and ruined my plans to watch sci-fi and masturbate.
Please tell me there is not a bookmark on your browser with the title "Christmas Porn"
But we only had three ninja turtles. So everyone that would ask us where Donatello was, we would say "what? He's gone? Shredder is at it again!"
Did you poop on the roof?
WTH?
Is that a no?
sooo, that video of you eating lasangna with the strobe going magically reappeared on my phone
home. only unpacked the necessities...contact case and beer.
Randomize
