I misunderstood what a threesome is. Please come pick me up.
he just came in and straightened the chair and left again
Just saw the stripper pole on the road that we threw out of the party bus last night
I'll be accepting presents in the forms of drinks, drugs, and orgasms. So any or all of those will be fine.
I said:" get your jacket, get your beer and get the fuck out of here"
Firing someone with a rhyme is the new high point in my life.
So how much of last night are we going to pretend never happened? Enough to stay friends?
Now the circle is complete. Just interviewed a guy who was a higher up member of the team I worked for in my job before this place
WHAT IS HAPPENING
A FLOCK OF DICKS IS MIGRATING TOWARDS US.
I was his one phone call from jail and I hung up on him. He's fine though were gonna go to a party now.
My mom said she saw you at the grocery store. Said you looked like you were "headed for a Lindsay Lohan quarter life crisis of sorts"
We had sex to Hey Arnold, Rugrats, and All That. I feel like my life has come full circle.
I had to explain to an ER nurse that I burned my dick playing onion ring toss today, your social awkwardness hardly compares.
I know it sounds cheesy, but i think both me and her mum know they are "thanks for being so cool about finding nudes of your daughter on the camera" flowers
I knew the bike rally would be fun when I saw "male pole dancing" on the schedule
Where are you guys?
Drunk
Randomize
