I can't get out of the parking garage so now I'm staying downtown....Typical
do you have any idea why i woke up naked spooning my toaster?
Some dude just bet me $8 I couldn't smoke a pack of cigarettes in an hour...It sounds stupid, but I really wanna do it. If I survive, I'll have $8 and it'll look good on my resume.
A girl just asked me to co-sign for her boob job because she didn't have enough credit built up. This is a first.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just found out I was conceived in a rehab facility... that's better than finding out your dad could be someone else right?
he was playing drums on rock band as i poured bailey's into his mouth. tell me that's not a bonding moment.
Her parents walked in on us. So for my birthday they bought me a blow-up doll with their daughters face on it. I don't know what to think right now.
Vodka @ 9pm. Library. Nothing can go wrong, I promise.
I'm cleaning my bathroom. That being said I found a klonopin and dropped it and stepped on it. Floor is clean im gonna snort it.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I was out with the drag queens until 7am. This is the hangover I needed to kick my ass back to sobriety. Dear Virgin Mary, fuck my life.
Do you think casino weekend will remind us once again that we in fact are not mature enough to be this old?
I thought my neighbors locked me out of the building. Then I remembered I was drunk. PUSH AND TURN.
she's p upset bro
Where is he. I have a sword.
I'm sure if Robin Williams was still with us he would want you to see boobs.
Fun fact: You might be drunk if your vision is so blurry that you almost ask "do you know where my glasses are?" while you're wearing them.
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