Waldo just asked us for directions. Even he doesn't know where he is.
He insisted on us having sex while watching the biggest loser and asked me if I could "resist the temptation".
No it was after you showed us his fraternaty letters shaven out of your pubes
I just saw that blonde chick you wanna bang rolling down the hall wearing a Thor mask..
Wow. We're meant to be..
I got up before the sun today. That makes me sun for the day.
When did you start smoking in order to be high by 4:30?
I'm not sure if it was the 11 shots or your naturally vibrant personality but I recall you being quite noisy that evening
It feels like I'm being stabbed in the uterus with a rake. That night was totally worth it though. Thanks.
They didn't have a "sorry I was late for your birthday party because I was getting arrested" card.
And if you ever tell anyone that I have emotions ill kill you
I'd risk everything I own for 10 min naked with her, 2 would be sex and the rest me crying like a little girl.
I found a door knob in my purse this morning, I hope whoever it belonged to doesn't need it today.
hahahah
Lets just say my thoughts when getting dressed this morning was "vagina friendly" options
I just had a twenty minute discussion about endangered breed dog breeding with an Extremely drunk guy
So many questions...
Being a fine ass woman in a world full of fuckboys is the realest struggle I've ever known.
like I'd leave you in a situation like that..pfft. what kinda friend do you think I am?
...a stoned one.
Randomize
