and that's why we call him explosion in my pants. no one remembers his real name.
He just seriously used the word "skeet." Can we please find another way to get weed?
No. Take one for the team.
I don't think its a good idea if I moon a whole bar again
Remind me if I threw up on you last night or if that was just a dream.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I fell asleep on the table at Denny's. Told the waitress to wake me up when my burger was there.
I totally just potholed and almost crashed while trying to lick salsa off my boob.
I drove 5 hours to see her. She thanked me by getting shitfaced, inviting her boyfriend over, and making me sleep on the couch after I cooked for them and did the dishes. You're right. I'm a fucking doormat.
I'm with Tony. He said he volunteers his ball sack for waxing but you will have to wait a few weeks. It is a freshly shaved sack. I guess he thought he was gonna get lucky. Wtf?
Smooth sack
He was wearing a tux and a big sombrero so it automatically made the flute he was playing totally cool
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I know you're my sister, but I'm pretty sure I'm going to have sex with one of your exes this weekend. He's probably not gay, but I'll let you know.
My worst fear almost came to light...I was choking and the cats stared at me like they had no problem eating my face if I died
I think I'm drunk at the airport. Oh the possibilities
How much weight does it take to launch a cat using a trebuchet vs the tension required for a catapult?
They also submitted to my demands for pizza
You spent the whole night conversing with your zombie poster, so I'd say you were pretty far gone.
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