i love how people use prayer to talk shit about eachother in a 'holy' manner.
aparently we are going to have sex infront of her friend. ill call you tomorrow
herpes texted me again. he says he wants my vagina.
ok we should really consider changing this guys nickname...
Quite frankly, I consider the fact that I'm NOT pregnant one of my greatest achievements and I'd like to chronicle that ongoing success. I'm going to post pictures of me at "0 weeks" once a week.
Some guy just stopped me in the bar and asked if I had a shot named after me at another bar called God damn my VaJana hurts? He already knew my name was Jana so I couldn't deny it!
I AM SUCH A BETTER PERSON ON DRUGS
Drinks appeared in front of me. Who am I to deny destiny? And by destiny, I mean free drinks, which appear by magic.
I want him to rummage through my vagina. with unwashed hands.
She just texted me that she's horny, then started quoted random music, then telling me everything she regrets. I don't think there's enough tequila in the world for me to deal with her...
he's a firefighter. like being a firefighter screams MY DICK IS HUGE SO I'M NOT AFRAID TO DIE IN THIS FIRE.
A guy just grabbed my balls before he shook my hand because he thought he knew me.
just woke up. hair smells like weed and bbq. shins are bruised. vague memory of us chasing deer at the park at 3 am. fill me in on what exactly happened.
You told your boyfriend he needed to fuck you in the tree because it would make you guys one with nature.
Did he?
Would you like to get a drink then hook up or reverse order I don't really care. Hopefully you can keep this between us.
It’s like a sexy version of those choose your own adventure books from when we were kids. No matter what you choose, there will be penis!
Randomize
