Who haven't you slept with?
No one comes to mind.
You got in a fight last night?
Yeah! Some dude in the bathroom...he was standing there and I notice he's got the same shirt as me on so I'm like...dude you should have called me, we look like idiots...he didn't say anything...so i got pissed and hit him...completely decimated and my hand was all bloody and covered with glass afterward...weird dude, never saw him again that night or since.
Um...Did this guy happen to look almost exactly like you?
Do you think if Santa was real that he's have a big penis?
Ok forget what i said about christmas break being awful. Chasing shots with fudge
Well at one point he got ahold of my archery gear.. And I. Shit. You. Not. Sarah took an arrow to the knee.
I want to play lord of the rings tonight. And by that I mean get really drunk, potentially lost, and go trekking through the woods or climbing shit. I want all of you there. You are the fellowship. This is a mass text. I am insanely high.
Seeing your one night stand on campus never gets less awkward. Why is Subway the only good place to eat?
You were chugging tap water out of a running blender screaming "bubbles is Perrier mother fucker"
You would think a husband, a boyfriend, and a vibrator would be enough. But sadly it's not
The look of disappointment from my cat while I take nudes...
No he can't come. I swear to gods he's "Why We Can't Have Nice Things" given physical form.
I've had more orgasms than showers this week.
Last night was great... In the "I got videotaped making out and getting a handjob on the couch in front of 100 people." kinda way.
I woke up this morning to find myself laying in a beer puddle with "I'm sorry" written on the shaft of my dick and Nicole was nowhere to be found. Gotta love her
okay i know we havent talked for like weeks but i just really wanted to tell you that i miss your dick. like alot.
whose this? and thank you
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