I like how you formally end text interactions, just turn your phone off or don't respond you pervert
The problem is he wears abercrombie jeans like there's nothing wrong with it
Bullshit. No way. If I brushed past your penis it was completely coincidental.
i feel like the wall was a canvas for his penis.
On a lighter note, the guy I gave a lap dance to then fell asleep on his crotch just facebook friend requested me..
The fact that he just came out makes his Lent commitment to give up gay sex so much more meaningful now.
Yea... you were given too many get out of jail free cards. God just gave up on you having a healthy and happy vagina.
We all just did coke and we're coloring so if you're sober its pointless for you to come over here
She tried to sing jingle balls while blowing me
TYLER OWES ME SO MUCH
I LET A CREEPY MAN I DONT KNOW SUCK ON MY NIPPLES
I cuddled with a man named Pickles
It's not a hangover, it's "slept on a couch with another person and said person moves a lot and is loud"
He's hot, clean, can actually cook, and best of all isn't a narcissistic prick. I found a unicorn.
Ride that fucker.
i just found a pair of your underwear stuffed behind my harry potter books...was that on purpose?
haha no, it was majik
Drinking is such a hassle. I wish I could just press a button and be drunk.
Randomize
