Bc you can definitely buy condoms if ur a 14 year old girl
Apparently i was the first person to introduce her to her clitoris. Needless to say...they hit it off great
Question: why is there a dildo glued to my kitchen table?
remind me not buy ky at kmart ever again. Had to get a manager to open the locked case. then he stood there and watched me look through the selection
I hate that ur telling me this.
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Get out of your relationship and into my pants.
i am high, trapped with a bunch of skaters and asians watching a cat on lsd on youtube, the girl on the couch next to me is getting fingered, and there is lady gaga playing. god has forgetten about me
So hungover. They actually hid easter eggs around me.
Nothing will ever prepare you for the moment when you are sitting on your friends bathroom floor with no pants on eating string cheese & pita at 2am.
Oh and in case you were wondering it is not a good idea to eat weed brownies and then go out to the bar. When I got off the bar stool my high had just hit me and I felt like Bambi taking his first steps
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Ugh did we play golf last night and did you by chance hit my head with a club or a ball?
He blacked out at the first bar and passed out at the second...we just carried him to bar three and four and sat him in the lounge chairs, he said we're amazing
Wait, you seriously DON'T keep vodka in your backpack??!??!?
I'm so stoned I just sat here for like at least 45 min thinking about how I would get some jack in the box tacos if only I knew where my wallet was and then I kind of blinked and finally noticed I had literally been staring at my wallet the ENTIRE fucking time
My liver is preforming stress tests.
Idk... I'm not sure why anyone would use a flesh light in general. Let alone hook it up to a wifi device.
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