god i wish i could take a shit and a shower at the same time
Can I ask u a weird question?
Sure
do u have the hershy squirts too?
I'm 99% sure I high fived a girl over mashed potatoes last night
dude literally just took me 4 trips to take out the recycling from last night. we need to have parties like this more often
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
There are beer cans & oyster shells along the side of the road. I belong here
If you don't come out tonight, who's going to wake us up in the morning because they're fucking in the middle of the room where everyones sleeping?
Okay the common myth about putting tampons in you nostrils for a nose bleed is busted. It just starts coming out through your throat.
The chips are stabbing my teeth, and I can feel the muscle under my mouth contracting.
So he says "my girlfriends coming over so you have to leave but I love you"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We have a pile of chopped wood here that suggests we may have chopped down a tree of some sort.
You made a course evaluation for your vagina? Wow. You really are a professor now.
I dare you to find another dealer that delivers bud to your home along with deep fried vegan burritos
I got a hand job after work. Remember those? From the 90s...
Woke up next to a half eaten Philly Cheesesteak. Honestly probably one of the top 3 things I've ever woken up next to.
He has no idea he’s my boyfriend.
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