He's marrying her, which means that she is his most important person in the world, so you gotta deal with it...okay?
im just going to superglue mistletoe to my forehead and see what happens
I love watching others lives come down to our level.
PS, you're not being slutty, you're "making dreams true."
they are using this drunk girl like a spin the bottle in the hot tub, whoever she lands on she makes out with.
Her tits were the only thing that upgraded her from "no way in fuck" to "drunken mistake"
nothing worse than walking out of class after 3 hours and having covered exactly zero information
walking out with herpes. that would be worse
No teenage boy ever gets scared away from sex unless she is slipping a wedding ring on your finger or is killing your cat. I promise.
You know you had a good night when you wake up cuddling a baseball bat and a can of chicken noodle soup.
I didn't know where you were for like 15 minutes and then I went in the bathroom splashing water on the mirror and throwing hand towels around saying that you were "redecorating"
I need something that says "I'm gay sometimes but I feel scorned by my straight, non-committal lover, so I'm here to get drunk and make out, and possibly end up in a bathroom with someone who's name I won't remember tomorrow"
Had sex on the beach last night with a drug dealer. win-win-win situation
They are like the regular squirrels and we are flying squirrels
i still cant feel my toes or walk straight...its been 2 days.
Of course he did! You’ve seen my tits, you know he didn’t stand a chance!
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