I'm in that stage of denial where I hope our kids have his nose.
You do realize that you broke up with him, right?
remind me not buy ky at kmart ever again. Had to get a manager to open the locked case. then he stood there and watched me look through the selection
I hate that ur telling me this.
she had a my little ponys comforter. i left when she went to the bathroom
So drunk can't even tell it's my own house. WOaoOw.
You know its bad when convincing your mother you were masturbating is the better alternative
i feel like god sat there all night pointing and laughing at me
She told me she wanted to wax my ass. I'm terrified and oddly aroused.
My right boob is officially about a handful while my left is 1 and 3/4 handfuls. I'm staring at the mirror falling into a deep depression.
Hi. I probably already told you this mid puke, but thanks again for babysitting me last night. How did I get in the car?
think they'd let him outta jail for my wedding? we could have him back by like midnight....
Turns out the old man beside me in the waiting room was dead, but other then that it was a good day.
Also, making a white Russian with butterscotch schnapps instead of vodka is probably the best decision I've made in my entire college career.
I'm not sure... But I think I just found a porno I starred in during my black out week of '08.
Would I do it again? Probably not but still,I don't regret a single ratchet thing I've done in college.
really who shits their pants then locks themselves out of their apartment? ... I threw my underwear out in a random bathroom
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