Yeah, getting the HI-fiVe would really put a damper on my whoring around.
She kept calling me her DD, which I assumed meant designated driver, so I was confused because I don't even have a car. Found out later it means designated dick. It's what her and her friends use as code for the guy they want to hook up with at the end of the night. I feel so used.
i don't even remember going to get food. i think i got gas too.
Her mom caught her drunk streaking when she was 12. Of course she's perfect for me.
Just had a thought: were the sirens on when we were in the ambulance?
we just finished a porn and sex toy shopping spree. this is the fun part of "being serious"
Is there a fine for having sex in the back of a zipcar?
Well I tried to call you. I was convinced my body was made of wood. But the Xmas lights in my room helped
Pretty sure I scared him off for good. The lesbian in me is ecstatic.
Just think of your bundle of joy thats on its way. And how hes gunna rip your vagina apart
Die.
There's a chance I told a cop that I was ready for him to strip I may have even taken some ones out of my purse and stuck them in his holster
I can't believe just smoked out of a pear
I can't believe you had a pear already made to smoke out of, that was impressive
All I want to do is lay in my bed and eat hotdogs
i like beer, sex, and cooking. what more can he want?
Your dick. My mouth. We have 20 minutes.
Randomize
