Why is there an empty beer bottle in the shower?
Why wouldn't there be.
During the middle of giving him head, he flashes his phone and says "I like to watch."
it was like watching bambi learning to walk, if bambi was 22 and a high functioning alcoholic.
Totally just locked myself outside of my house, in my robe, with the fedex man and a box of sex toys. Not my week.
You sucked on the drag queens heel. It got that rough.
The nursing school interview showed me a picture of my passed out during your party. They asked if this was a frquent thing. I told them you drugged me.
I wish I could just hang out in ERs.
Out of control sex drive for a girl? I just masturbated in the bathroom at my in-laws house before dinner....
Also I want everyone to be drunk at my funeral. Instead of wearing black just blackout. That way everyone can celebrate how fun I was
Wow it must be so difficult to be as popular as you are and smoke as much weed as you do
I thought it was improvement but then i realized sex isn't an emotion and I hate everyone
Our breakfast options are microwave popcorn, wavy lays and fireball
Well I just saw a fully naked man doing a headstand in a cooler of ice water.
A drunk frat boy just jumped on the hood of my car while I was driving down Bridge St. He yelled at me to keep going since he was playing frogger and needed another car to jump on... or a log. I hate this town.
Maybe I’ll just go to the party as myself
What, a homewrecker?
Touché
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