is it true you fucked a yoga instructor last night??! ..and let me know if you want me to post that question on your facebook so kelly can see how happy you are without her
pretty sure mid blowjob I told him I needed to call you and ask you if this was whore-ish. He hid my phone from me.
so I have this game called 14 beers left. and we both have to drink 7 before we leave
Got a basket, 50 condoms, some candy, 100 plastic eggs & my bunny costume. Campus will feel my wrath in 2 weeks
yeah, and when i walked in on them fucking he said "go away, i'm making sons."
You were throwing ham at people telling them you were the sandwhich fairy
I just recognized Courtney in a crowded Trader Joe's solely by seeing her ass. In other news, I survived the first round of layoffs today.
I'm not sure which feat is more impressive...
A reason for us to be drunk all week National Singles Week
I told my doctor about us having twin chlamydia
He said he wanted to "superfuck" me
Does he wear a cape??
Oh my god there's only so much masturbating one can do before one wants to fucking cry
Ims textiofg thsi woht my noes bcuz my hansd aer stli handcuffde to teh bedfrme. Help me
The stripper told Tom to sort his life out
I just really wish I could go back and unsex him. Waste of my vagina.
He's actually really cute and seems like a good guy. And given that he likes lots of drugs, he could come in handy.
Randomize
