She wanted to fuck you. You threw up on her. Congrats.
There is a mermaid on oprah and she looks nothin like ariel
New beer pong partner names "Bus Boys" ... We clear tables
you yelled "you will never make love to jesus" and then ran into the tv.
It's official, my little sister has hooked up with more girls than I have.
How many bratwuest were you able to fit in your mouth at one time? It's me, Hans.
I stole another quarter from the bathroom. I'm slowly getting rich drinking here.
It's what America was founded on: former hookups referring you for a job four years later.
I'll have my TA grade the tests, she needs something to do anyway. Wanna race to the bar on segways?
see these eyes, they just want to bone and go to sleep.
Someday. I cant very well invite myself to his dorm room. And I'm 28. The excuses to be drunk and running into him at uconn are rather slim. Although I'm working on it.
and here comes the time of my day when I haw to convince a guy to drive my cape and my handle to my dorm.
PS: bike ride of shame at 7am includes riding by kids waiting for the school bus #classy
I hit an all time low we ran out of coke and I met up with my dealer at 8 in the morning for a re-up. great customer service though.
ETA 20 minutes and if you greet me at the door with a gin & tonic I’ll give you head.
Randomize
