Who goes to Church hungover
Those who weren't lucky enough to go still drunk
I plan on using my big titties for evil tonight.
There was something that i liked about you, but you spent it
if i found out she had a dick after i got head, does that still make me gay?
just paid a stripper to have a minute conversation about the arizona game WTF
And my fence, why is part of it on the roof?
so, is "hi, did i take your virginity six years ago and never call afterwards?" an appropriate greeting in a bar?
The cops just drove by on their loudspeaker going DO NOT DRINK THE WATAHH
I love boston
i think i have weasels eating my brain. Also there is a skeleton staring at me from the back of the bathroom door. it's an awkward vomit. come find me please
I had to drink a couple beers this morning so I could attend the keg race. Hangover had to dissipate or it wasn't happening.
A beer is a heart your wish makes!!!
Just smoked pot with a guy who has apparently been living in the woods for over a month. He just walked out of the woods. This is not real life.
I need to find out this kids work schedule. I need mustache rides on my lunchbreaks.
Is it rude to ask for an autograph after giving him a blowjob in their hotel's hot tub?
I was lying I actually don't, I hope a reindeer shitted in her bed
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