I though she ruined it by crying, then I realized it wasn’t a tear, it was my great aim. It turned out to be beautiful.
Is King's over? Or do I still have to say 'On Matt's cock' at the end of every sentence on matt's cock?
I got a handjob from a sober married woman in a parking lot in the middle of the day, yet you still cant manage to get laid by a drunk single slut at the bar at 1am. Wtf
i admit it was a weird experience, but why regret what once made you cum
I got to masturbate in Rome in a gorgeous hotel room. Don't try and tell me I need a boyfriend
It's time for everyone's favorite Wednesday night game... WHEEL OF. VODKA!!!!!
Hope I didn't wake u up but I woke up and there is a shirt, boxers, belt and jeans on my balcony, along with a naked guy who claimed to scale the building
Just broke my collar bone. May not make it to the party.
No more house parties. We're almost fucking 30 years old and I slept until 6 pm.
Last night I had a sex dream about Trudeau, he hasn't even been prime minister for 24 hours
First morning at school this semester and I threw up in a bush during my walk of shame.
I hate him but I love him for what he does which is me
I've broken 3 vibrators in the past month because I apparently am "too rough" with them. Is that even possible?!
Hey I’m obsessed with Charlie Heaton from stranger things...not because he got caught at the border with coke...okay that’s a lot of it
Go ahead without me. This chick is buying me drinks and just found out her husband is cheating on her. I think I just found the next level of revenge fucking: Scorned Trophy Wife Sex
Randomize
