good news, i'm not pregnant. bad news, i had sex with ***** last night and i think i'd rather be pregnant
I didn't know that people actually queef. Is this a real thing?
I believe so, yes.
Would you be offended if I asked if it has happened to you?
Your therapist is not going to think that you using your vagina as revenge is okay
he/she has shaved legs and makeup on. but a spare tire stomach, high socks with high heels...a wig and glasses. and still talked like a man. it was a nightmare scenario
Thanks for convincing the hot dog guy to give me one for $1 after I drunkenly dropped the first one. I loved your reasoning "I know you mark that shit up! I work in retail!"
the night got glorious when you tried to do an upside down keg stand with a near empty key and dropped it on your face
This has been the biggest binge-drinking season of the decade.
Granted I did fall into a pond wearing your dress, but I did save a frog in the process so I think it was worth it.
I have no idea where I am, where my pants are, there is cheese stuck to my ass.. Why do I have your phone?
shot for shot with some guy twice your age to prove Detroit hustles harder then you left with him. We're tracking you
iphones do not disturb setting is the biggest cock block to my 3am booty calls
My head is pounding and I need an ice pack for my vag. Successful friendsgiving!
He yelled "HOO-ah!" like Al Pacino when he pulled down his pants. Trust me, he has every right to.
i just got referred to as "the Loch Ness Cockster". God bless my Scottish heritage.
I am a bad person
You slept with him. Was it good?
I wasnt going to but I was too lazy to blow up the air mattress
You threw up everything but your ovaries.
Randomize
