we were in your room and your mom was singing twinkle twinkle little star in the hallway. so you decided to scream "twinkle? TWINKLE! What Fucking little star?!"
tequila makes her clothes fall off
wow Mom, sounds like youre having a good time
I'm in my winter jacket and nothing else. very drunk. bring bitches.
I don't remember her name, all I remember is trying to suck the wedding ring off her finger.
Question: Would it be wrong to just fuck both of them and decide who to date one performance of their cocks?
she's traveling up the coast with her camera and a stash of pot cookies eating food from different campuses. said she slept in a closet 2 states away last nite... of course I'm interested
Fuck I keep finding new battle scars from our fight. Justin told me I stabbed you with a broom handle.. Do you remember ripping my pants off?
Thank you for caring about my cervix.
You can laugh all you want but 99 grapes is a lot stronger than what you were drinking.
"There should be some kind of award for sleeping with your ex 9 times in 3 days."
No, the high point was when you stood on a chair and shouted you were the god of tits and wine.
I should've negotiated that before I sat on his face.
Dude, I wish I could live my entire life blacked out.
There is blood all over my sheets and no discernible source.
We hooked up and he sent me home with a plant and skittles lmao
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