That's your vagina. No one goes out and burns it
he shaved USA in his pubs
my dad brought home flowers.. so i started talking to them
girl in the front row yawned. double jointed jaw. i know where i'll be sitting next class
Yo, if someone calls you asking for John Stamos, just go with it.
i didn't realize we were even dating until i ran out of weed
I cannot tell if the couch is cold or I spilled beer. THAT kind of night.
Sit down my child. It's time you were told of my famous loss-of-virginity story entitled, "The Penis that Never Could."
I found some video of you on my camera that's like 5 seconds long, where you announce that you should have been a dentist before taking a bong hit.
Let's go buy marshmallows and play chubby bunny until we feel alive again
I hear jingle bells and I can't tell if it's bc I'm feeling festive or just REALLY high
I think you're overestimating how drunk I was
You said your pillow felt like the ocean...
Seriously if we go to rome ur fucking me into the sunset on a wrought iron balcony overlooking Vatican City
Just cuz u chase vodka with sweet tea doesn't make it sweet tea vodka
I got dominos and had to stop whilst eating and take a moment of silence for how good it was
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