i effin hate jeff goldbloom.
but i totally would still bang him
I'm still amazed at how you managed to puke in every plant on the whole top floor at the mall without a single person noticing and without missing a step.
From the prices on this menu it looks like I have no choice. I have to blow him.
OH MY GOD MY GRANDMA JUST SHOWED ME HER BOOB OH. MY. GOD.
Three people drank on "never have I had sex in a tractor." Iowa at its best?
He ate me out while I was wearing a tiara.... I think I could get used to this
A homeless man just asked me if I had seen any "nekkid chicks with heineken bottles run by"
Berkeley was the right choice
At least your night didn't end with three cops seeing your ass and you sitting on the ground in a wig throwing your shoes at people
id one day like to live in a world full of emotionless and wonderfully fullfilling sex...
Just burnt my tongue. Not sure if it will help or hurt giving blow jobs
new low: I blocked him from seeing my snapchat story in hopes he will text me because he'll be afraid I'm dead or something
SPICY FOODS AND BLOWJOBS DON'T MIX.
YOU SAID YOU'D TRY ANYTHING ONCE YOU LIAR
he made that chewbacca noise when he came. like father like son i guess.
Umm... When he walked in I shot him with my confetti gun... It's a wonder my booty calls even show up.
Then you screamed in her face to shut up about thick thighs saving lives because actually they can suffocate people during oral sex
Drunk me is very safety conscious And apparently just as annoyed by her as sober me
Randomize
