You drink too much
No, I drink just the right amount - too often.
What are you drinking?
Shitty Coors light. OM NOM NOM TASTES LIKE HIGH SCHOOL
They're donating plasma together for extra money. Couple of the fucking century.
dude I heard her through my door. She sounded like you were holding her head under water and they letting her up for air. I recorded that shit
The freshman next to me just said "I was rocking out on my way here to Dave Matthews..." I wish I would have passed this class the first time.
These old men are woofing at me..PLEASE HURRY
Apparently I walked up to him, mumbled something incoherently, then started to make out with him. Why does this always happen.
Sober me is really good at getting to the airport on time. Drunk me is really good at shitting my pants. Do you know how much pants cost at the airport????
Now I'm obligated to stay and cuddle with her because the condom broke. Fuck.
Final Summary: could he eat a lit sparkler? Probably. Could he do it while peeing off the roof? I'll tell you when you get to the ER.
I don't know what's worse the fact that I woke up with a clit piercing or the fact that I didn't pay for it.
Looks like he unfriended you too. I feel like we were both just handed negative pregnancy tests.
If you feel frisky later I have a cowboy hat that would look great on you naked...
Who is this......
Anyone who can sit 4 hours in a doobie circle with their feet in a kiddie pool is ok by me
When I meet her I'm going to have to resist the urge of saying "hey! We're Eskimo sisters!"
Randomize
