good. and stop kissing my girl you dirty slut.
i don't think she's still your girl..plus, she kept screaming "kiss me! i'm a lesbian!" last night so i think you're outta luck..
I wish you could buy pregnancy test at the liquor store, it's the only place I feel comfortable being a disgrace because I know they understand why it happened...
Brought a cooler and a case to a parade. I'm getting dirty looks since it's 10:30. Telling people it's for the troops.
She is the perfect woman. She cooks, gives good head and doesn't care that I have a small penis.
I don't care how old I am, if it's your 21st birthday I'm going to make out with you.
Sometimes when I see a shoe on the side of the road, I get a little depressed that I've never partied that hard.
There's a treasure map on your stomach. Treasure may or may not be the clothes you lost...enjoy
I know you hold the fastest time for "zoo downhill wheelchair racing" but I don't see what that has to do with this.
I just replaced the poop spray with an air horn... Now we wait!
We used a snorkel as a funnel. Can you say desperate?
We're following a guy carrying a door for beer pong at his place..join us when you are deemed sober enough to leave the hospital.
Still dying that you shit outside
if you arent using your penis to save lives, then what good is it?
he asked if he should bring the trash can into the room.. apparently i shoved my finger all over his face and said.. shhhh dont talk... just take your pants off.
And I’m prepared, because I'm in it to win it (and by win I mean get railed hard)
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