You should dream of me :)
I'm going to dream of single life.
I found the TV remote. It was in the washing machine along with the chicken wings you kept complaining to Domino's about that they 'never delivered'
So all semester this guy and girl have been talking, and today is the last class and we are doing nothing. I would have skipped but I want to see if he seals the deal or pusses out. It's like a season finale.
The coffee from our coffee maker just hasn't tasted normal since we made Mac n cheese in it that one time....
Slipping me an edible before my ochem final was not your brightest idea. Looks like I'm switching to business.
Well, I now know how many glasses of wine it takes for me to fuck my neighbor.
Found the puke drawer
So I paid for the taxi using pennies and hair clips, no need to thank me.
In other more interesting news I'm going to arrange a surprise orgy. You in?
You know you can't live off of vodka and pizza rolls forever
I'VE ALREADY MADE MY CHOICE
He looks like he was the one that always had koolaid stains around his mouth as a kid, he can fuck off.
If you can't have hot, loud sex in a dorm for the last time ever, what can you do in this world?
But can mardi gras accurately capture the essence of my tiny rage?
Please come over. It's a pajama and burn-2016-in-effigy party
Well now I’m in the bathroom puking up absinthe so guess I beat myself up over it one way or the other
Randomize
