Whatcha textin bout Willis?
Heated debate on which is worse. Pissing your pants or puking all over yourself
id pay someone 5 dollars to tell me whos house im at right now. comfy couch though
He's been grabbing my ass as a greeting since 2004, sex was overdue
My TA just asked me why I was late to class. How do I say because I was having the best orgasm of my life in Arabic?
He has a clip art-style heart tattooed on his hip. I hated him way before I saw his tiny dick.
ROOF CAVED IN, WE'RE GUNNA MAKE A WATERSLIDE
I dunno. Last time I went there I had got sexually propositioned by a Belgian prince.
So then you challenged the bartender to an arm wrestling contest for a free bottle of vodka
Sweet. Did I win?
Youre hungover arent you?
you missed 2am bagpipes and my roommate looking hot as fuck in a kilt
I'm too old for chlamydia. That's for 20 year olds who go to clubs and do drugs I've never heard of.
There is a high possibility I will pass out with my hand in a bag of Doritos
Wanna have a sleepover and take me to court in the morning?
Ur betting me $100 that I can't do ur sister?
I dont need your sympathy!!!! Just a fifth of vodka and gummy bears...lots and lots of gummy bears to take my agression out on.
Randomize
