I just saw a commercial for "tickle me elmo hands" and I am almost 100 percent sure that at the end elmo said "yeaaaaa boooyyyyyy"
just bought a 30 and sold it for $2 a can to some dumb ass high school kids. now lets buy two and get really drunk
At least our walk of shames never included a bag of chips and a jar of queso..
At a party. It smells like teen pregnancy and sadness in here.
You just sat there for two solid hours staring at your monitor and every five minutes screamed "LEGOOOOOS"
You wanted to go find him and we told you to sit down cause you kept stumbling. You yelled " I CAN STAND!! It's the walking part I can't figure out!"
You rope them in with the looks and the boobs, and I'll bore them into submission with random trivia. We can't lose.
I have bad memories with every alcohol but we manage to work through the problems for the good of the relationship
He's hot....knda sweaty, drunk smells like feet....but he's hung like a whale....so in other words totally your type
CAPS.LOCK.AND.SPACEBAR.ARE.BROKEN.
I woke up only wearing a Breaking Bad "Los Pollos Hermanos" apron he got from Loot Crate next to a 3 empty bottles of Zima,Jolly Ranchers, and a jar of coconut oil. Fernet is one hell of a party starter
You sealing the pinky promise with a shot was much better than just kissing it
She keeps comparing me to her favorite dildo and I don’t know if I’m flattered or creeped out
Side piece definitely knows about my GF. Said it was sexy when I go commando, then left me pantsless in the club bathroom
Yeah. Of all the things to be cock blocked by a plague is the most unexpected.
Randomize
