I'll bet she douches with gravy.
Was just hit on by a guy with 2 kids and one was named Rocky. I need to get out of Buena Park.
have you seen my purse? i cant find it and my ipod is in there and that shit totally cost more than my abortion.
Im making the walk of shame with half a box of pizza, its like when youre little and you get a goodie bag leaving the party
there are certain things about getting into a cab to go home at 630 am that make me feel like a prostitute.
I just heard the term negative masterbation and I don't believe it
He left with a pair of dress shoes, some goggles, and a shot glass. I think we should follow him.
Yes, you can 69 in a fiat. But I think I have permanent nerve damage
He doesn't care. He wouldn't care if my vag grew arms and smacked him in the face.
Holy. Crap. I just found a hickey on my bikini line. He never got my pants off. WHO IS THIS MYSTICAL HOOKUP WIZARD?
I just had to remind myself that I'm visible in real life. Sitting in the car in a parking lot, and almost took my shirt off because the tag is itchy and I wanted it off... and you know I don't wear bras...
the problem is i have six tabs of acid in my freezer and no self control
Trust me, dating 38 and 20 year old dudes at the same time is the best. Money plus all of the sex. Finally figured out this relationship thing.
I have a 30 pack and enough condoms to last until tomorrow morning. Have Mystery Science Theater 3000 ready. I'm on my way over.
he said he's going to burn things and pack his stuff. he may leave tomorrow supposedly but i doubt it
Randomize
