Sooo i definitely have a major burn on my chin from kenny's ...stubble from making out for hours while coked up. Pure class.
If i could tip my vagina, i would.
Woke up in a closet. I'm not drinking till summer.
I can't believe I just compared my penis to a St. Bernard.
He referred to his cock as "The cock" like it was third party or something.
It wasn't until like 4 and when we got off the phone you said god was summoning you back into the bar
Our room will be decorated with my urine.
Obviously you've never slept with someone who was deliverance level inbred.
And for some reason I just want to have sex with EVERYTHING
I know, I know. But we've discussed my friends and appropriate social behaviour, and I'm pretty sure topless karaoke was a no-no.
This chick had a microhand. Fucking, like, jerking off a baby carrot would make it look like corn.
Basically taped my dick down because it's too obvious in this costume...
I'm sorry for what I said when I was orgasming
Is it weird that my mother is taking body shots off my gf after meeting once?
It's been THREE DAYS. Why do I still have the munchies?!
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