I have a feeling that after last night, i'm not just going to hell. i'm going to hell on a full scholarship. free admission bitches
woke up to moans and hushed"we can't do this with him in here." hope they had a good time
bathroom sex at kohls isnt as trashy as it seems
when i'm not drinking i'm making facebook events about drinking
I feel like you just avenged me for every guy who came in my hair
I wish Facebook had filters like: Ivy League school, frat boy, straight, extremely wealthy, great in bed.. I would check all of them
Should study in library more often, procrasturbating is less of an option.
I just cleaned your Jaeger vomit off my car with a knife. Don't ever say I don't love you.
where are you?
talk to ya later, gotta sled down these stairs real quick
Today's weekday brunch started at 2pm, and consisted of $7 of sandwich and $50 of cocktails. Also, I hustled the bartender for about $3 playing nickel poker, but he may have been letting me win. Either way, he didn't get into my pants.
6 tequila shots, 3 kamikazes and 1 rumplemintz.. The next day I puked in my office trash can while doing payroll. I may have to dock my own pay for lack of class.
Our prom king just sent me a dick pic. I know it's 10 years later but I feel like I've finally made it.
For reals. He's my age and he still hangs out at his frat house & gets hammered every weekend. Idk if I'm jealous of him or if I pity him
I just took a plan B pill with my preworkout. That's the level I'm on today.
I'm high on the exercise bike at the gym. I feel like Lance Armstrong
Randomize