no morals, dignity, or self respect ... just an empty condom wrapper and a facebook request
we went back to her place to bone only to find her boyfriend having sex.. with MY girlfriend
I fell off the front porch last night. Actually.. I dove. I dove off the front porch.
My google searches from last night: tetanus shot rabbit bite, Bacardi gluten free
I want to miss work tomorrow on account of violent projective vomit... Make it happen
I'll pick you up. Avoid slightly awkward no-we're-not-dating-but-I'm-still-screwing-your-son-after-2-years parental run-ins.
I have a boner in one of my pics with her which no one noticed.
I'm a dude in a dress, who came to a party with Holly GoLightly, got hit on by Bambi's mom, and wants to do terrible things to Link. Halloween is weird
Yupp. He's definitely a screamer.
Think I was still drunk when I woke up cause I went and bought a mandolin
It's not even a normal fucking affair I've found myself in. It's a fucking bdsm clusterfuck.
Why is this not the first time I’ve seen the mugshot of someone I’ve slept with
So Blakes coming home... so if youre like fingerbanging the shit out of yourself on the kitchen table...wrap it up
he would NOT stop making out with my stomach! creeeeeepy
I've decided it's okay if I take a pregnancy test every month. Then I can be like, "Good job, self, way to not procreate this month!"
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