I'm gonna get wrecked tn I might have to keep my phone at home cause I'm sure ill send you really weird txts
she has a miserable personality but its a good think you dont have sex with that
pussy has no personality
Amen to that
i was puking in the toilet, he walked in and to talk to me and started puking in the sink.. Could this be my perfect man??
I had forgotten what it was like to go to all four classes. It's exhausting.
I may have pooped in your shoe. or somewhere else in your closet. its unclear.
He nailed 50 frozen hamburgers to the ceiling last night. Now there are flies every where.
I JUST SAW A SIGN LANGUAGE CATFIGHT
Seeing the pictures of him and i, I'm giving whiskey the win on this one. Definitely had beer goggles.
Judge me all you want, but while you are stuck at home eating Ramen and tap water, I will be dining with some guy who, although might be the same age as my father, is filthy rich.
He just made my one night stand pancakes for breakfast. And I thought living with my ex was going to be weird.
He's listening to "my heart will go on" by himself in the living and its not even noon. MAKE IT STOP.
Just puked in a cup. Poured it out the window.
First dip in a brand new jar of Nutella, and my man’s dick are two things I will not fucking share.
all I remember is screming at her "I want you and your tortillas... DEAD"
Hey do u remember the time we used my mascara wand as a drink stirer?
Randomize
