Good face, no body. And apparently her vagina is related to chewbaca.
at church Sunday morning I dropped an M&M down my dress and it landed in my bra. I fished it out and ate it. A lot of people saw me.
....ANDDD I just became confused during sexting and sent my mother a text describing a "porno-worthy cum shot."
what age do we have to be before we can stop fucking guys on the first date?
we are cooking lunchables pizzas on a fire pit.
Then he told me he was proud of me for remembering that i blew him that night.. Maybe my drinking is getting out of hand.
You opened a bottle of wine with a shoe and a wall last night.
When I start carrying a bottle in my hand, jumping from boat to boat with a grenade horn. YOU should know this isn't going to turn out well.
Everyone already knows you're a drunk, they understand.
I stole a fireplace last night.
Its okay, i dont mind you drinking, im just surrounded by it, there is some random dude laying on your couch with a bucket that ive never seen before
I knew things were bad when I walked in on you feeding juice to your iPhone
I love when groups of boys part so I can walk through. It's like a red sea of penises, and I am their Moses.
PICK ME UP NOW I THINK THIS MOTEL IS A CRIME SCENE. also congrats on your engagement i saw the post on my phone while i was climbing out the window
Got 2 free lines of blow from some random guys on the side of 13th street.....how's your Sunday going?
It has now been 10 days since we last saw Sebastians penis
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