did the walk of shame from ex-boyfriend's room only to find other ex-boyfriend sitting in the living room. some people shouldn't be allowed to be friends.
some people shouldn't be allowed to be desperate.
Im starting to think including a smiley face in texts may or may not be a code for 'lets have sex'
Im going to research this theory. . .
6 figure salary? he just got a little cuter.
Her face is stuck to the frozen jager bottle. I think shes ok with it
I'm stoned entirely off resin. Licking my blankets. Merry Christmas. Jesus died for our sins. Yay Jesus. I love you.
Oh aight, and i was just going to be content with drinking, beating off and watching ninja turtles
Yes she scared me. She had NIPPLE CLAMPS ATTACHED TO A STUN GUN.
That's not as bad as watching a dumb ass drunk peeing into your window fan -
I hope I don't have to wait for another triple crown winner to get laid again.
My mom always wanted to raise a classy lady, it just turned out to not be her daughter.
These tits shall not be calmed
I balled in the shower for 20 minutes, rolled up to the meeting late looking like a gremlin, and my one night stand was standing there in a suit
I wish I may, I wish I might, get some daddy dick tonight
being broke is really keeping my alcoholism in check
Did you at least know who's jizz it was?
That is questionable.
Randomize
