Pants 0. Shit 1.
I just made $100 from people paying me not to get naked at the party... I need those P90X dvds
The worst part is I think my tongue cut his penis and now he wont talk to me.
He screamed "Oh boy! Oh boy!" during climax.
i'm so sad bro, I can't get any pussy. I'm so sad
I feel like everytime I call him he's either fucking or getting into trouble. It's really disturbing that he presses the answer button and then proceeds to fuck her harder.
I just Tebowed the shit out of her.
Nice and you can't use "Tebow" in the place of every verb.
Gotcha. Well, I'm puking and trying to keep down water from a mug that says "love the moment" around the rim. Not loving this particular moment.
I think my hopes are too high for this one. The only other bachelorette party I've been to I was felt up by a Chippendale's dancer and smoked a joint with the party bus driver.
Come get me we have a petting zoo to throw up in.
Just text the random number in my iphone notes that was entered at 1am. Should be interesting.
What exactly do I say to a random stoner hookup to thank him for ending my dry spell? Is it awkward to just say "Thanks for that. It was well needed."
Sex in the backyard? Check.
I'm too depressed to drink my wine. That is what I would call a serious problem
You remember my neighbor with the perfect ass? It's even better in assless chaps.
Randomize
