You know if a vagina was a face, it'd be ugly as hell...
It can't be good... The last recollection I have is singing lullabys to his penis
I'm going to pre plan my black out tonight. I think I'll set a change of clothes out on my bed and unplug the oven.
He's minimum effort, but maximum fuck.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I learned something last night. Strippers can be on house arrest?
I just got carded by a ten year old.
Found a popcorn kernel in my pubes... Time fir a Brazilian
Omg this is like trying to sleep on a pile of ballsacks.
We cuddled after till the morning. Then he woke up sober... and straight.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just masturbated in the tanning bed stoned. Best decision of my life
Thanks for having me over last night. Sorry I licked rum off your kitchen floor.
I've seriously never been more thankful for marijuana and my resting bitchface.
we were all too drunk to realize that the cat wasnt yours
So my step mom just informed me she tells stories about me at work as a form of birth control for the girls that work there, not sure if i should be offended or proud.
he offered to let me fuck his brother , of course im marrying him
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