Nipple clamps can be ambiguous
Instead of asking if I had a condom she literally said " I'm not on the pill but I'm pro choice... your move"... I'm in love
i think he just uses that whole "grew up in a castle" thing to get pussy
I just bought a large Pizza and Xanex in the same store...my night is complete
ok this guy next to me just sat down with a no joke, 10,000 page book, popped an addy, cracked open a red bull and opened the book to page 1.
I wish that one Sunday morning I could wake up feeling like I have my life together.
We picked up some guys dressed as shamrocks at taco bell. I will text you with further information.
Like, he's a nice guy. But he's better at fingering than he is at speaking.
So your best guy friend eats your pussy once and a while, no big deal. It's like going to jiffy lube once and a while to let the professionals do it. Your husband should understand .
I had a girl last night tell me that she was happy to find a condom wrapper in my garbage because,and I quote, "well at least you're not raw dogging every slore that crosses your path"
Fuck edible panties there is a dress made out of bacon
I was afraid someone would drug test my pants so you set them on fire.
My head is just one big fuzz right now.. Its like someone replaced my brain with a teddy bear
Last night was a "wash hands with dog shampoo" kind of night
my star wars tattoo got me laid last night. definitely a dark side sort of benefit im thinking
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