My mouth tastes like defeat. Did he at least have money?
and all i could think was, am i really about to have sex with someone who still thinks that pee comes out of the actual vagina?
so when I got there he was dressed as jesus in a recliner drinking whiskey out of the bottle watching spanish porn. Then kept shouting dont judge me or ill judge you. we didn't even go to a halloween party.
She started doing push ups and calling me a pussy. Never set me up with your ROTC friends again.
Everytime I know she spent a lot of time on her hair for one of our dates, I intentionally cum on the top of her head. That's how she knows I pay attention.
Hey just to warn you theres a really fat guy passed out in front of our front door snoring. Don't touch him, he's in god's hands now.
And then you guys went on to show us ur sex positions from the before. Thanks
I might be a bit. I accidently started hot boxing the bathroom. I'm just gonna go with it.
I offered to buy ihop waffles for all the homeless people outside the metro. It was time to go to bed.
I just threw out a whole Christmas ham, 12 positive pregnancy tests, 3 empty vodka bottles and by ex boyfriends Latina porn collection in the same garbage bag. The homeless person who goes through the bins tonight knows I have nothing left to loose.
I want to buy her liposuction. And a spot on What Not To Wear. And a face transplant.
You kept yelling in my face " YOU'RE GONNA HAVE TO SUCK A DICK TONIGHT!"
I just got back to our room ....neither of us spent the night there but both our beds are occupied. send help.
Just gave my pregnant cat a safe sex talk. That high.
i opened the door and you were passed out on my doorstep wearing ugly shorts and cuddling a pinnapple, i dont know what happened to you.
Randomize
