that place is a roofie-colada waiting to happen
i'm ok with that.. with the right DD it's just a cheaper drunk.. it's the economy, stupid
I made a vision board specifically for the purpose of boning john mayer.
you kept say ridiculous things then repeating them in perfect classical latin. You are onee intelligent drunk
and honestly a story about how you met your future husband that DOESN'T include the words "creeped him on facebook" is really not a story worth sharing
She eyed me up from across the bar and mouthed "I have no gag reflex".
Listening to Joy Division and applying for Walmart. You get to choose which one is more depressing.
Just coerced a Santa to buy me a handle. Tis the season.
I'm going to look like a jackass in the Mexican newspaper tomorrow.
He just invited me over to bang on a sunday afternoon. If I can make it top the time I went to a strip club on fathers day then I'll consider it a success.
He said to use 30 racks as chairs and then drink til we fall thru the box
Whoa, I am aware of WAY too many squirrels right now...
I have so many plans for this weekend and sobriety is not invited.
No judgement. Sometimes you gotta twerk on a legends face.
I was so hungover at work I had my shirt on backwards. I had no idea how I managed to get through today puke free.
when the cops came she just started yelling at them "Fuck the police! freedom of speech bitches!"
Randomize
