Just heard a guy discussing with someone else the amazing blow job you gave him. I’m in New York. Over 2 hours away from where you live. I have never been more proud.
They were so loud I wrote them a sex critique and taped it to his door.
she said "feliz nobby job" then proceeded to give me a blowjob.
Yeah sketchy neighborhood.. Some woman ran by screaming, "i didn't steal anything" as some cops rolled up and arrested her.
Give me a few hours to remember what being sober feels like.
My three rules on what I'm wearing tonight. Something short, something see through, and something i had sex in.
Just come here and visit. Enjoy the deliciousness of me being legal. Just don't think, and come here right meow. meow meow meow.
How can I not totally like a guy that told me my boobs were too big for me to be taught how to play golf?
As if I wouldn't steal Nintendo brand "Mario is my HOMEBOY!" boxers when he gave me the entire drawer to choose from.
So what happened? Or does sex + ramen pretty much cover it?
His girlfriend left him for the pizza guy. I am not fucking kidding.
He literally just patted me on the vagina and said goodnight to it.
We laughed, we cried, we fucked, we shirked our familial and work related responsibilities. They could make a movie about the last 40 hours of our lives.
Getting food poisoning after eating at work was the cherry on top of my "Welcome back to real life" sundae.
we f'd six times
f'd?
its sunday, i cant say fucked
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