There was a fist fight in my basement last night at four in the morning, in case you were wondering
Youre a pretentious asshole and im not sure who you think you are. Get the hell over yourself and the self righteous culture snob image because its pretty obnoxious.
how did your night go?
he asked for my myspace name.
So my mom just called me into her room and showed me a condom wrapper she found in my room. "Oh that's from when I was like 16." I don't think that was very comforting.
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He kept yelling "osteoporosis" and threw milk at her because she broke her arm.
thats the sluttiest christmas spirit ever.
Second night back. Go to house party and played ring of fire. Me plus five other people completely naked. College wins.. It's going to be a long semester
he calls himself the gay cupid because he matches two guys looking to hookup on craigstlist with each other. get me out of here. please.
Who the fuck cries when they're stoned?!
Sorry man I just really wanted a McChicken
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FIND ME A DICK TO RIDE THAT HOPEFULLY IS ATTACHED TO A CUTE PERSON AND NICE PERSONALITY
CHALLENGE ACCEPTED. Is it okay if I only get 2 out of 3?
The D is nonnegotable.
Side note, from now on any snap chat I get that isn't interesting enough... Is getting a dick in response. Judge your snaps accordingly
Anyways, he came over at 3:30 am and ate me out while I ate pizza on the counter
Something like; Dear Cupid, when are you going to send me someone to date that isn't a complete psychopath
another side note: i'm officially selling my underwear on the internet
WHY THE FUCK DOES RICKY'S BROTHER GET AN ENTIRE POT OF PASTA FOR BEING SHIRTLESS AND ALL I GET IS ARRESTED?!
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