Can i not drive my cunt home
Is it bad that my booty call's snoring was more interesting than the sex we had last night?
Why is my head in the toilet this morning but there is vomit behind the toilet
boyfriend complimented me on my new prada shoes today. he is officially either gay or the man im gonna marry. knowing my luck it's all of the above.
so whenever I text yeah my phone automatically corrects it to yeahhhheeehhyeahyeahh .. too much party in the USA?
I know man...but i cant pass up a catholic school girl fantasy
Chipotle...archenemy of the gay man. Cockblocking me since 1997
The 30 seconds of sex was almost worth it...I mean he did smoke me out and watched the princess and the frog with me
for future reference: playing drunken strip-twister is a euphemism for a threesome. just thought you should know.
Well, find something you can use as a snorkel and be aware of your surroundings.
I woke up next to him fully clothed but my thong was around his neck. Polling to decide if we had sex or not starts now.
I just really need to get the matching flask to go with my pill box. Is this another step towards rock bottom?
Fuck that. I will get OUT of CONTROL And rise from a hangover on Sunday like Jesus himself.
i woke up soaking wet with shard of glass imbedded in my flesh dangerously close to my dick what happend?!!
BEER BOTTLE SWORD FIGHTHING!!
It's the first weekend of the school year and I'm already selling stuff for booze. Need a microwave?
Randomize
