Why did you take off so early
No more beer. And also. Threesome. Maybe. Ill let you know.
I don't know how to tell my mom that I'm not sober enough to drive to the dentist...
So I've been thinking a lot since she told me she's prego. But what I want to know is why my voice of reason sounds like Thomas fucking Jane!?
Working on an important paper into the wee hours of the morning, and every time I type the word "situation," I can't help but think of effing Jersey Shore. Those guidos are now ruining my academic life.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I am at the point where deciding not to drink alone is worth a rocky music montage in and of itself.
My overnight senior got drunk and hooked up with Kaylee on Sunday. I checked Facebook and he already put down his deposit for next year. This school should pay me a commission.
Of course... Double fistin nati light cuz the powers out and it cuts down the times i gotta open the fridge... Genius
I woke up in her bed, she woke up in mine. Apparently there was a miscommunication after the 8th jager bomb.
He raised his arm and dropped it in his sleep to smack himself awake. He knows his phone has an alarm clock right?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Come on down you're the next contestant on "lets go drinking!"
It's something you'd find in the room outside of Ben Carson's sex dungeon
Some people are good at football, some people are good at painting, and he's good at being a fuckboy. Everyone has their talents.
He has a syndrome called asshole. And it flares up 24/7.
we woke up when the front wall of the house caught fire.
dude, he literally lasted one minute. and i paid 8 dollars for cabs.
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