Is it bad that when I see ugly people make out, I hope he's impotent?
I saw a penis in my cereal this morning. do you think my cheerios are like professor trelawney's tea leaves?
one can only hope.
He seems like he has feelings, which is completely unacceptable; esp for a boy in college.
I think I just need to sleep with both of them to see which I want to date.
You just went from promiscuous to slut in 3.2 seconds.
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Grape juice and vodka is NOT wine.
I would feel bad sleeping with her unless all of her personalities were on board with it.
You know you drank too much last night when your mouthwash tastes like water
OH MY GOD I JUST WANT TO GO HOME AND FART ALL NIGHT.
VOOOODKA VOOODKA WE PLEDGE OUR LOVE TO THEEEE VODKAAAA VODKAAAA SAVIOR OF LIBERTYYYY
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Signs you do Molly too much. Glow sticks fallout of random articles of clothing on academic row
I might be offended if you don't bang me tomorrow. You know, for America.
I'm currently on an epic search all over the city for a drug store that isn't sold out of Plan B. I celebrated your birthday from afar.
He deserves a nobel prize for his dick-giving abilities. 10/10, would ride again.
If I could I'd magically teleport drugs and alcohol to you. Like a bad decision fairy.
There's a big difference between a penis and a toilet.
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