he's the Salvador Dali of pubic shaving
it's like i warped into dreamland and the only thing that makes sense is my solo cup
The best feeling....farting and having the bubble hit your balls
I even made an effort to dress like a conservative young lady who doesnt black out and throw up in her bed regularly today.
just googled chastity belt to see if it really exist..
Just so everyone's clear, it was already on fire when I got there.
I don't want to get into details but it feels like there was a bear mauling involved. A very good bear mauling.
i would have thought, that you two being my best friends, one of you would have atleast tried to catch me before i hit the ground after blacking out.
would it be mean if I put better with the lights off on my sex playlist just for my hook up with him?
You were pouring Patron into the window of the squad car trying to get the police dog to drink it
So thats why that cop beat my ass?
Probably
So apparently they remodeled our middle school. Looks like we'll need to find a new roof to play beer pong on this summer.
Funny you say that, I just sold my stripper pole to my mom tonight...
I just turned down the best booty call of my life because I have to make a cheesecake. I guess this is growing up.
I'm all about clean living these days
You started your day with fried chicken and a bloody
... after you woke up in your own urine
you know you're doing something right when your drug dealer insists on hugging you before you leave.
Randomize
