somehow on my way home with matt, I ended up straddling steve on the sidewalk and polling the people walking by on whether or not we should have sex.
So many tools at one table, you'd enjoy my italian family
we're going to drop off one of our cars at the police station tonight so we'll be able to drive home in the morning
I mass texted 4 of you for a booty call. Please reply all when responding so only one of you shows up. Last one is a rotten egg.
im breathing rainbows and everyone is talking in bubbles whatever you gave me give me more
He told me the escort brought him pizza. Can something be sad and awesome at the same time ?
I was seriously concerned she had died since she wasn't moving at all, but then I asked here where she was last night and her response was to hip thrust the air.
Just a heads up... Don't get high and attempt to do your own taxes
Much like Dre, I was forgotten about.
It might be whiskey, but I view Marge and Homer Simpson as something to strive for
the cashier at the gas station pulled a twig out of my hair and told me I should probably wash it before work....it was kinda sweet.
I just found a To Do list on the table, written by me last night, that just says "1. Go downstairs. 2. Get Pickles. 3. Laptop"
I felt I lost my designated buddy on a field trip when you wandered off to get high with strangers.
One day I'll learn not to get drunk on a plane. Today is not that day.
oh dont worry mom i am not sick my cough is from a recent increase in recreational drug use
that will happen
Randomize
