I can hear my liver begging me not to go out tonight
This might be the most awkward night of my life. And I had someone pee on me once.
She Kept going around and squirting jello shots into guys mouths. That was her ice breaker.
I dont know. Theres no way you can be ready for the sex hurricane that will consume you.
SITTING NEXT TO A CIRCUS PERFORMER AT PLANNED PARENTHOOD. THIS IS MY LIFE.
Boise Idaho, where you have a one night stand with someone from your town 3 states away and run into them the day you return...
It took me three days, but I managed to nearly get arrested on my way out of LA. Made it to the airport. Crisis averted, though. The real crime is, my flight is delayed two hours.
I remember caressing his hands asking him if he moisturized, then i proceeded to put his hands on my face
did i get sucker punched in the face last night or was our make-out session just that intense?
You know the force is loosing strength when Darth Vader can't handle his liquor on halloween.
I have four things I would like to do over summer too... Problem is they're all roommates
please come back. it's turned into strip rock paper scissors
You are now at the point where people no longer question whether or not you might be on drugs. They now know for certain that you are
They gave my sperm a pep talk after they found out we were trying.to have.a baby.
Fuck this pandemic. She grabbed the hand sanitizer instead of the hand lotion while giving me a hand job and now my dick is burning and scrotum are on fire
A hand job? Are you 12?
Randomize
