Just once id like a girl to say to me in the dracula voice, i want...to suck...your dick...
There are going to be so many Snookis this Halloween that I might just dress as the guy that hit her and punch them all in the face
Also there's a dick sized hole in my tights...should I be worried?
Ok John needs to move to the other side of the county. I do not like to be approached for a blow job in the produce section of Holiday Market.
what's the appropriate greeting for someone whose bed you've had sex with someone else in?
He came when he saw that my nipples were pieced
Who knows. Maybe the world would be a better place if more people sent their drug dealers thank you cards.
We can stop fighting if you send me a picture of your dick standing at full attention wearing a sock.
I'll wait.
It can also be a hat.
she fell THROUGH the wall. All in all id have to say that my neighbors where pretty chill about it tho.
New life goal: fuck in the shopping cart
To be fair I went my whole first week without showing up to work drunk!
I ran into a wall that clearly had things popping out. My eyebrow was bruised, both arms, the bottom of my foot. Lost half of my finger nail, my fake eyelash was stuck in my hair and I have about 47 blurry pictures of a half naked zombie DJ.
Going on a first date tonight...pros: my boobs look amazing. Cons: my abortion isn't until next week.
I was trying to decide if i was still high whenever i realized i was pressing the buttons on the microwave cause i liked the sound.
I dont understand why i cant be a wizard
Randomize
