this kid just came up to me and asked me if i wanted to play truth or aids with him and his friends. i'm in
At Coney Island the sign for the rollercoaster The Cyclone says, "Make sure your glasses and weave are secure."
it was like she wanted to be a once a week night stand
it's like, God thought about making her pretty then changed his mind at the last second
i used the phrase horny rhinos in my paper. i hope my teacher appreciates the size of my balls
It's amazing the difference a day and 2000 mg of antibiotic make. Nine days to go.
We need to play Chardee MacDennis. Contact me when you have an available date. This is not a question.
"Wait, who's gun did I have?" Moments when you re-examine your life choices.
my roommates tied me up with rope and duct tape then left me outside the door to the hot girls' suite on my floor, knocked on the door and ran away leaving me there with a sign that says free
i ended up eating cold sauceless spaghetti out of the container in the fridge with my hands.
Also, I found out that my dad has the name of every boy that I've ever dated and their physical description, car type and tag number stored in his computer.
Apparently Angela went missing once and he says he learned were to look first and that it's best to have information on hand.
Just took adderall with about half a bottle of red wine...i have stopped trying for this last exam
I still don't understand if he's using me to write his resume or if we're dating
So I had this brilliant idea that I would sleep in all sorts of sweatpants and sweatshirts... Apparently I thought I could "sweat" off the drunk in my sleep and that it would make me feel better when I woke up
did he think i wouldnt notice the naked girl in the backseat
Randomize