3.50 mugs at the bar.
Nah man, im with an ugly chick. Im waiting til everyone's drunk enough tonight, they don't notice.
How ugly, and does she have friends?
doooooooo herrrrrrrrr
I'm out of practice. be my yoda
put your penis in her you must.
He just kept pointing to each of us saying "arrested, arrested, arrested"
so some random man just messaged me on facebook "tig ol bitties" should i be concerned?
There are only families here. I'm at the bar alone double fisting drinks. You cannot get any more approachable than I am now.
What do I wear to meet his family/put his dog to sleep? Is there even an appropriate outfit for this occasion?
you are dancing on the line between undergrad and alcoholic.
Is it bad that I don't ask for names anymore? Just added "gold-chain-wearing hotel guy" to my list under "minivan 3way" and "funny-tasting gym guy."
hey fuckhead. when i said not to grow shrooms in our apartment, that didn't mean "yea, sure. grow shrooms in our apartment"
Is it acceptable to have my intern get me pedialite and plan b?
It's a learning experience. She can add to her resume that she cured her bosses hangover and poor decisions
He must have found my secret supply of blow and took a bump before we left the house. Rude.
He could of at least asked
She told me her last name, which as you know is my #1 turn-off.
I need to stop getting picked up at 3 am by my friends parents. This is the second time this week. I'm a grown man.
We need to leave a grand offering for the god of free booze and salvia.
Yeah. I fucked her boyfriend, she knows, and she still wants to keep dating him. That's love.
Randomize
