East Village: Only place you can play pac man while eating a pineapple hotdog, go to the bar next door and see a graphic blowjob on every tv
Things I find upon waking: a gay man, a straight girl both clad in web bathing suits, a full bathtub, an empyt bottle of jamesons at the bottom and a scuba mask
so this carnie looked at me and said "the ride in my pants is funner." i wet myself.
I told a kindergarten student that candy canes are bones of reject elves.
Some girl in the stall next to me just yelled "fuck yes i started my period!" she came out of the stall and we high fived. who am i to judge? i do that every month.
What part of "you pissed in the tent" do you not understand?
i don't know. but im upstairs in the closet with a burger i found in their fridge
Omfg amy I'm not kidding you I think a blow job is what landed me in the hospital
FUCK YOU. AH. FUCK BOTH OF US MORE BOOZE.
MAS TEQUILA.
if memory serves, the guy you were hooking up with said he was a slutty skittle.
I apparently made a "health and fitness" subcatagory called "drugs" on mint at some point. I used it to catagorize all of my nyc atm withdrawls for $60 haha
It's funny that when I fall down as an adult I'm so much happier no one saw than that I'm not seriously hurt.
You just accidentally called me. You kept saying "Really?! Really?!!" So I can only assume you are having sub par sex
Like sometimes I’ll be hangry but for dick
I deleted your number after I found out you gave my brother head for drugs.
Randomize
