hah yeah. there was a kid puking in the bathroom and this idiot brings in a potted plant and was like "yeah he's like, not getting enough oxygen"
It's the eternal vodka... it never seems to go away
Were playing beruit winners pelt losers with eggs
Thats not what we're looking for. I want this kid to suck a lolly pop out of a stripper's snatch.
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I'm not allowed to have sex with him again. My vagina joined in on the protest. There was a petition. All my body parts signed it.
he has a party story that rivals our "PTSD- soldier-with-a-knife" party story. I'm pretty sure this is part of some prophecy.
The only thing I know is that these arent my shoes and Aaron is missing and he has my house keys.
Exactly best part of my night he took of his shirt and surprise traveler fanny pack
I just put Gatorade in my wine, cause electrolytes, you know.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If he refers to me as slump buster one more fucking time.
I don't know what happened last night. But I just woke up in the high school boiler room
You don't feed me, fuck me, or fulfill me.
i had to call him over, it was my last chance at getting some tonight
HE HAS A RESTRAINING ORDER AGAINST U!!!
it expires tomorrow
Finally got with the virgin.
Yeah? Howd that go?
As soon as I got it all the way in, I looked deep into her eyes and said "your soul is mine" in the deepest voice I could make. She was not amused.
I was left to my own devices with nothing to do but drink
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