At a place where you lie naked on a big pile of pillows and they feed you lobster. You eat it with your bare hands.
She said she didn't have time to shave "there"
Then she shouldn't have had time to order the lobster.
So they call this "a walk of shame" but fuck that...this walk is fantastic. What kind of debbie downer came up with that name?
I wonder if she thought to herself "I'm gonna sleep with that guy tonight" when she watched me puke on the bar at 3 in the afternoon?
Why isn't there a super hero that comes to the aide of really high kids when they kill their car battery?
I didn't know. I guess I really haven't had that much time for drinking lately. I mean, outside drinking at home/work.
I was picked up from his hotel room at 5 a.m. and came home with my panties and jäger in a McDonald's bag so the desk attendant wouldn't judge me. This is what single at 25 is about.
She had her pubic hair down there shaved into the superman s............. Best one night stand ever.
Apparently duct taping your dick to your buttcheks before the first time she goes down on you isn't as funny as projected. She cried because she thought I was a girl the whole time.
He meowed while sucking on my nipple, it got even weirder when he said he was trying to moo.
It's shark week go big or go home
Can I pee and smoke my bong at the same time or is that like eating on the toilet
Dick is healthier for you than green beans
Kinda. I got kicked outta the bar, and then incited a riot until the cops came and I bailed
I walked in the kitchen and heard her saying "We could have been so good together" as she caressed an egg with her cheek.
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