hey babe thanks for tonight, it was fun.
to be honest, i wanna fuck your friend.
He chugged from a bottle of wine and then we had pretend sex
How do you have pretend sex?
It was bad...so it was pretend
I just watched a video of Justin Bieber kissing a girl..... the sad thing is that I actually got upset.
Can you come over to my place and make up for the crap you called sex yesterday?
Good morning to you
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Just found out my mom tried to sue the birth control company when she got pregnant with me...love you too mom.
just chugged some gatorade and threw it up. todays gonna be awesome
Their car went through the first bag of wine on the drive up...clearly 6 bags was not enough.
After this weekend, it looks come this holiday season I'll be walking in a winter abortionland.
Sorry I dragged you across a parking lot
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my boobs are worth more now than the blue book value of my car.
I'm handling the NHL draft worse than getting dumped this week
You called your ex, and talked to her for an hour about how you miss her, came back inside and asked the girl with the biggest tits if you could take a pic with your face in them and sent her the picture.
I'm keeping him.
Sex was good?
I had to tap out three times. There aren't words for how much better than "good" that is.
Can I send you a random dick pic? It's got a lightsaber tattoo
The hump and dump is a beautiful thing
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