They wont let us in. Theyve some sort of no Daft Punk costume rule
Got 6 blowjobs in one weekend... new personal best.
Um I just overheard that the new guy spent a month in jail. Obvi another great hire.
i slept with him so i could steal the screens out of his sink faucets for my bowl when he went to sleep. not because he's funny.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Hes screaming about Slender man. whatever hes on is probably not healthy.
I can feel my liver begging me to stop.
How could I forget your birthday? I have an alarm in my phone to ask you for sex that day.
drunk grocery shopping was not as bad of an idea as i thought, this salmon cat food tastes a lot like tuna
they adjusted my tv to black and white ... i thought i drank myself to colorblindness
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Look, I'm just saying, she looks like a troll and works indefinitely at a shitty Chinese restaurant, so me sleeping with her boyfriend is the least of her troubles...
She helped me out of the car and i face planted into the snow.....and just stayed there and took like a 30 min nap.
My neighbor is burning all of her ex's things in a metal drum outside the window. Guess who's going to make a new friend?
Am I getting cock blocked by karaoke? That's a first.
You have not lived until you've slid down a waterfall fucked out of your mind. Fact.
Guy just walked into the bathroom with only socks on and took a 5second shit. It is taking me longer to type this than for him to shit, wash hands, and leave the bathroom. WTF? Still wondering why he only had socks on.
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