Hey sorry i havent responded. i threw up on my phone while i was sleeping
Instead of a promise ring i got my clit peirced, its a promise that ill always give you ass! =]
Hey sis... Don't forget moms day is this sun. And don't get her another gift while you are freakin high this time. The vibrator was embarrassing.
FYI the vibrator was a SUCCESS. She was in a much better mood this last year. Maybe you should get high this time and get a great gift
I had to step in when you tried to make it rain baking powder on my sister
I made out with all three roommates...I didnt realize that was actually an awkward situation.
Our sex bag has now been upgraded to sex luggage, with wheels, and now features a first aid kit. Game. On.
Come on Nikki god gave you a vagina for a reason, so you could tell guys what kind of shots to buy you
I'm gonna drop in for a zip later man. It made me wanna eat my girls shampoo. Good shit
I'm using toast as a chaser. If I wasn't already so fucked up this would be revolting.
Currently putting together my outfit for this weekend, AKA a poster board that says "I'll cook you breakfast and do all your laundry, take me home." On front and back
I was telling my friend about your penis and the only word I could think of was voluptuous. You have a voluptuous dick.
Does he know you were at a strip club taking shots of tequila right before you babysat his son?
Just hit on a girl with the line, "You look like Natalie Portman if she did drugs". Strike 1
Nothing quite like spending your evening singing Shania Twain I Feel Like a Woman barbershop quartet Style with some homeless guys outside of Keyport liquor. love Shania Twain. How's your Sunday?
I didn’t say it was classy, I said it was sexy
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