I just figured it out. Meghan has the same smile as Sylvester Stallone.
I just found $40 in the jeans I wore last night. PS I also found the jeans I wore last night.
He washed my hair whilst I gave him head in the shower. Bored or gay?
I'm at the bar and they've turned up lady gaga to cover the sound of the fire alarm.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My life has literally become a dickpocolypse. Thank you, summer, I missed you.
if women knew the size of my dick, theyd be much more receptive to my sloppy drunken advances
She asked if my windows were tinted enough for road head.
I woke up naked on the bathroom floor. the tile grout marks on my boobs hurt, i mananged to use a roll toilet paper as a pillow. never again. did we eat salad?
what's with the bloody hand print on the hood of your car
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I cannot believe I said bareback movement...
EARTHQUAKE STATUS DRINKING GAME
Saturday at 4 is jello wrestling sponsored by the senior class council. That's why my school is awesome. Boom.
Tuesday Boozeday turned into What-the-fuck-were-you-thinking Wednesday real fast.
Timehop reminded me that 4 years ago today I helped a one armed man do the YMCA by being his other arm.
His favorite stripper is going to jail. He's taking it pretty hard
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