im goin to the NYE party with a tuxedo painted on my body. i know a girl who does it. wanna join?
I know you don't remember, but the teeth marks on my face say it happened.
you kept thanking chef boyardee for having pull tab cans
Beer Popsicles are better in theory
He drew a bath for me. It was only cute until he started throwing in celery and calling me soup.
Everything was yummy and fruit flavored and five alive and happymeas.
I'm wearing the monkey suit out tonight. I hope you're ok with it leaving the bedroom
I almost tased myself
I dont think you should own that device.
It's an awesome device. I love this device.
I think if I send him enough nudes, he will buy my plane ticket.
Uhmm, it's called hentai.
I DON'T CARE WHAT IT'S CALLED I DON'T WANT TO SEE IT ON MY WORK COMPUTER
Morning! Im using your rent money to snort percocet.
I'm not talking about Donald Trump in the midst of sending you nudes
I'll call you on my way home
Oh my god I'm going to die between now and then... can you at least tell me if y'all hooked up???
Just got an exam care package consisting of only adderall wrapped in money. Score one for mom.
I need to show you how I feel about you by fucking you repeatedly.
Randomize
