Down at cameli's and some homeless dude just pulled out a taser. Awesome.
just heard someone say they saw a guy puke while riding a bike across campus without stopping
she tried giving me head in the pool. it was more entertaining than pleasurable
It was her 21st and she had one drink and fell asleep. I hate 90lb girls.
I held a cracker & gaterade down for an hour. I feel like this will be my greatest accomplishment of the day.
He pulled his pants down and said blow me, while passing out on my bed. I then pulled his pants up as he continuously started moaning in the background.
You force fed me chocolate chips and avocados for 3 hours and kept asking me about my trip to sweden when I was 4.
Guess which frat house I just walked out of! And on a related note... guess who's uncircumsized
hurry up this bar wont let me order big pitchers of beer for just myself
I am making it a rule that only people I am comfortable around enough to not have to put a bra on are allowed for Sunday funday. I think that's a good rule for someone who started drinking alone at noon while everyone else here sipped their coffee.
Got robbed by an ATM. My weekend officially sucks.
BRING THE BAGELS
I just masterbated to the home shopping channel...what have I become...
We knew it was an interesting night when we found my thong wrapped around a chocolate chip muffin in the fridge.
I think I accidentally got a sugar daddy but I was already planning on sleeping with him so I’m going to see where this goes
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