he called me "his little blueberry cunt muffin"...how would that make you feel?
hahaha Yeah oh well, she wrote on my facebook wall, That's almost like a digital hand job
I've spent too much of my life staring at my bberry and counting to 5 to see if it blinks
Its midnight, he's burning water on the stove and keeps yelling at me and telling me not to burn myself.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
All i have left of him are the magnum X-Large condoms he left in my room, knowing full well that no other guy I hook up with will be able to fill his shoes. He taunts me.
We shoved chex mix between her tits for her own survival.
my goal is to not remember how i make a living by 9pm saturday night
I am literally hand feeding my crying ex boyfriend taco bell. What has my life become?
Hungover/still slightly drunk at work. Opened a bag of cheese with a box cutter. Pretty sure I need stitches.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Tell them you aren't trying to make money, you are just the mr rogers of weed,its such a good feeling a very good feeling the feeling you know that were friends
Her Grandmother felt me up AND paid for dinner. If she doesn't get her shit together I'm gonna be her Step Grandfather.
This conversation has now reached a level of awkward that even a passerby streaking hobo couldn't break.
I just want to see you and express my feelings in a drunken manner, but in a sweet way like my english accent.
Why did I wake up covered in glitter next to a half eaten cheeseburger?
Apparently I repeatedly thanked the paramedic for saving the "happy new year" beads i was wearing. that bad.
Randomize