My mom foundout about my dui nd just called me to come home. I just took acid like 30 min ago. Wht should i do?
In the car with my brother. His CD went from 2pac to Taylor Swift. I'm concerned. It wasn't a mistake, he knows all the words.
Packing for the trip... do they take Visa in South Dakota?
He's sobering up. It was really bad for like 45 minutes. He cried while telling me how he pictured us eating hotdogs on the beach together.
you probably have like 11 voicemails from us, one is us singing my heart will go on while were fucking
The cop was more concerned with the fact I had cowboy boots on with shorts than the fact we were under age
Let's play a little game of "Last Night Never Happened"
I just blurted out "it's pretty tight isn't it"
If your plan is to re-bang every girl you banged in high school - you're gonna need a spread sheet and clip board.
I just set a reminder on my phone to get star spangled hammered this weekend.
It's kind of awesome I can smoke with my parents and tell them about thetime we used listerine in that bong
I don't know man, I woke up and shes here acting like she knows me, wearing my clothes, and scrambling eggs in my kitchen. I don't know her.
You were drinking with me last night, I warned you.
It's amazing the amount I can accomplish with a glass of wine in my hand.
Do dollar stores sell vibrators?
I am going as Rudolph for the Christmas Eve furry orgie.
Is Santa taking the sleigh of slutty reindeer around the neighborhood again this year.
Yes. Several neighbors have requested it.
Randomize
