I think they gave out some kind of ugly girl scholarship I don't know about...
mom and dad are leaving for florida on 4/20, this is a sign
Im drunk and they're making me play quiet game. Im scared. Baptists are here
in the middle of giving him head in the backseat of my car he taps me on the shoulder, opens the door, throws up three times and then proceeds to tell me how amazing i am.
I've done nothing but whore my gay ex bf out for the past 48 hours. It's getting weird.
They're re-releasing Titanic in 3-D. Can I interest you in a joint venture to create the greatest drinking game of all time? I think yes
I'm just planning on experiencing Disney as adult style as it gets. Drinking bloody mary's at dawn and telling all the kids waiting in lines how badly their future sucks and that Santa isn't real.
When people ask about my bruises, I'm just going to say it was a doorknob. Or possibly a group of doorknobs. Angry doorknobs.
For thanksgving we are only drinking wild turkey for the next 24hrs time to strap your balls back on and maybe a helmet
Ps we bought 8 pellet guns just now
Well she started to strip and when she slung her hair at me, she painted my face with sweat. A LOT OF SWEAT. It was a weird boner.
When and where the fuck did we get a beach ball??
She tried to sing jingle balls while blowing me
if you're the one who put those dollar bills in my bra last night, thank you because I just used that money to get myself a coffee
So it's official the pockets of my work apron exist solely for the purpose of secretly flipping off asshole customers and not losing my job.
Can I drink yet?
It's Monday morning.
Your point?
Randomize
