Smith looks like a guy that goes on a lot of first dates
I keep pulling short curlies out of my mouth. Not cool
never have i ever had a craving for dick this badly
Just witnessed a fat girl fall off the treadmill, pop a medicine ball, and drink coke out of a water bottle all in one workout.
Washing the last semen-stained shirt you have really solidifies a breakup. It just got real.
Climbing through a window thats four feet off the ground isnt the easiest thing when youre high, trust me.
So, sleeping with all of my Vicodin in my bra because I knew she'd be searching my room for drugs tonight. I'LL SHOW HER.
AND FUCKING MGMT JUST CAME ON. CAN I GO DROWN MYSELF IN LESBIANS OR SOMETHING? IS IT TIME TO LESBIAN
we're fated to lesbian
He told me he felt like he was just pistol-whipped by Testicle Man.
Well my grandma put the turkey in the oven for 4 hours and didn't have the oven on.
Don't Richard Nixon her vagina
Omg in one week, two guys with their own names tattooed on their bodies had their tongues in my mouth. Self loathing shall commence now.
Just had a small freak out because I couldn't get my bra unhooked and thought I was gonna be stuck in it forever.
My new superpower is making fuckboys disappear!
Bending dicks and egos since 2002
Just sold my panties for 40 bucks to some rando dude at the gay bar. I think I found a way to fund next years spring break trip. Hello cancun!
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