You're a womanizer and a bitch.
Call me Kermit cause I'm about to go piggin
Pants on the Ground is the theme song of my life
I'm picking out a half way decent top so if I get arrested I'll have a respectable mug shot photo. Always be prepared.
You don't forget tits like those, even if you are vegas drunk.
She is singing the swedish chef song and throwing utensils. I love this place
and after i failed the breathalyzer i said to the cop "i've never been very good at tests"....
Sweet tea and masterbation. It's how I manage.
And now whenever I see a documentary about dolphins, I think about sex, which is super weird
Rather than admit to myself I've spent $756 at the bar this month, I'm just going to pretend I gave it to a homeless person...kind of makes me feel better.
Also I am throwing a blaZer over what I wore to bed and calling it an outfit.
I'm with jana at walgreens picking out penis rings.... Did you know they sell vibrators at walgreens? Wtf?
I think it stinks she’s cheating on him. My vagina on the other hand is tingly thinking about a summer of sexual healing
operation Bang Australian Boy = oh so successful
Trust me, I’ve got a sixth sense about dicks that tells me if a guy knows how to fuck and it’s tingling. You need to prove me right!
I’m not going to bang him just to confirm your Dickth Sense
The Dickth Sense!!! I love it! It’ll be our first porno!
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