You're the unicorn of the gay community. Unbelievable and unattainable.
well, atleast the road to alcoholism is fun.
possible father of this baby just finished his test first in a lecture of 200 people. other possible father finished about 100th.
I'm rooting for #1.
In a tragic sexting typo, I typed the word "blobjob". Now she's coming over and I have no idea what I'm in for...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Im sitting alone watching titanic. Drunk. Without pants. Holding a fishing pole. Im pretty sure im okay with all of this.
Okay, just a casual question: how did i manage to get grass stains on the inside of my bra?
if the future wants me to fuck him, then i guss i have to
Slowly realizing that my only incentive to bathe is shower beer
The engagement ring savings account is now the strippers and gin savings account. What are you doing tonight?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
There was booze on his face and I wanted it. I'm not sorry.
when the repo soundtrack came on in the middle of us having sex i realized it was about time that i clear out my itunes library
I don't think I'm gonna survive today. I don't remember how to walk. I must crawl 6 blocks to my bed.
fuck you
also please return my underwear, they were one of my favourite pairs xo
As she came, she moaned Roll Tide. I kid you not.
At least get laid and waffle fries out of it you whipped basterd
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